Illustration XXIII: Monster in Paris

⬅  Check the illustration post before this, Illustration - XXII

Sketches from unexpected contemplation, unplanned healing, and the birth of Caist.

I. The Monster Encounter

Unplanned vacation, I really did not need this vacation. I was just picking up momentum with work and ideas. But some things need to be done even when you don't know why. But personally, I don't want to know. It is best when you go without expecting anything.

I found a monster. This obviously leads to the tale of me confronting it and overcoming the monster. But that's not what happens in real life. The true strength of the monster can be measured by the consistency of evil it can do irrespective of the environment or stimulus. The pain that a monster can cause does not scratch the surface, it finds the innermost fragile part of you and tears it apart. At this point, you don't need anyone from outside to destroy you. You will tear yourself apart. Now wanting to overcome this like amputating parts of yourself and ignoring the fact that the monster is stronger than you. Strength like that could come in handy.

In Paris I saw a monster.

The illustrations below have been made while I was traveling through Europe with my mum, contemplating the recent breakup. Along the way, a new style was born - one that pulls from cubism but speaks my truth in fragmented geometries. I'm calling it Caist - because why not name the child born from your pain?

II. Wine by the Beach

The Mediterranean offered solace in a way Paris could not. There's something about the endless horizon that puts your broken heart into perspective. New styles emerge when the old ways of seeing no longer serve you.

This marks the first true Caist piece - where forms splinter but somehow hold together in the same space, just as we do after being broken.

III. Taming Bulls

Being a Taurean has its challenges. Stubborn, persistent, occasionally blind to the cliff edge while charging forward. Sometimes the monster you need to tame is your own nature.

Tame the monster, kill the ghosts... and set all the poets free...

IV. Love's Geometry

When relationships end, you start to understand that love isn't as straightforward as we pretend. It forms triangles, squares, impossible shapes that math hasn't named yet.

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As long as your heart is big, there is enough love, I guess.

Not explicit, never that, but the metaphor is clear enough. Love triangles aren't about the points but about the spaces in between.

V. Drowning in Others

Jung would have a field day with this trip. When you lose yourself in someone else's story, their animus consumes your anima until you can't tell where you end and they begin.

Taken over by Anima Amma and consumed by somebody else's animus

VI. Return to Work

Reality calls eventually. The laptop opens, deadlines loom, clients email. But you're not the same person who left.

After a long break, back to work.

The fragments don't fit the same way anymore. That's probably a good thing.

VII. Mother's Month

There's something both healing and maddening about having your mother witness your heartbreak. Her presence is both balm and irritant.

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For most, it is mother's day. For me, it is mother's month. Either there is an excess of me or excess of mom.

No illustration needed for this one. Sometimes words are enough, and the blank space speaks volumes.

VIII. Live By Night

Somehow, in the midst of this chaos, I found myself creating a homage to a film that spoke to me. Perhaps because it's also about loss and reinvention.

Live by the night

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This journey through Europe wasn't planned as creative rebirth, but that's what happened. Caist emerged from broken pieces, a style born from necessity. In fragmenting reality, I found a way to make sense of it again.

Some monsters you fight. Some you study. Some you become. Paris taught me the difference.

#Caist #DigitalNomadArt #IllustratorLife #EuropeanSketches

Check out the next illustration Blogpost,  Illustration: XXIV  ➡